Look for the Helpers

When I was growing up, we didn’t have all the shows to choose from like kids do now. Looking back, I think that makes me quite fortunate. Without all the flashy cartoons and fast paced live action shows streaming 24/7, we instead had a steady diet of Sesame Street and Mister Rogers Neighborhood to watch. At appointed times no less. Because there was far less content to choose from, children from my generation were exposed to one of the kindest humans to ever walk this planet, and had the great fortune to learn so much wisdom from him and his brilliant imagination.

I didn’t know back then just how lucky I was to be growing up in that era. The Mister Rogers era. That man was beloved by almost everyone that ever saw his program. He had a special way about him. And yes, Saturday Night Live and other comedy shows took aim at him. But later in life, when profiled by a national news crew, it was astounding to watch, in real time, throngs of people young and old who would stop in the street and marvel at the man who shaped their childhood. Their smiles were wide, the joy on their faces shining bright like the sun. “It’s Mister Rogers,” they shouted. The glee was barely containable, whether the person was 6 foot 4 and 55 years old, or seven years old and still not able to reach the countertops. Fred Rogers had that effect on people. He radiated love. He radiated light. I’ve often remarked to those in my world, that if there are such things as Earth Angels, then Mister Rogers exemplified exactly what they are.

I loved that man, and still do, for his joy, his humanity, and for representing the best in all of us, if we choose to embrace it.

Not only did Mister Rogers break ground in simple ways by helping kids talk about hard topics like death, divorce, and the “othering” of people not like us and how damaging that is to the soul, but he also highlighted and promoted racial equality at a time when you could be taken off the air for doing so. For a generation of latch-key kids he became a calming, soothing friend who helped children know they weren’t alone in this world. He also did something even more remarkable. He taught kids that kindness was strength, not weakness. That empathy was an asset, not a liability. He gave us hope. He helped us believe in ourselves in all our weird and wonderful ways that make us unique.

One simple piece of advice that Mister Rogers gave, and today is widely shared on social media, rings in my ears often, as I’m sure it does for others. “Look for the helpers,” he said. “You will always find people who are helping.” So simple. So unassuming. And yet, a gem worth more than any diamond or pearl.

As I look back on my journey into the realm of intuitive healing, I find the helpers showed up right on time when I needed them most. I had no idea this would become a career path for me. I just knew how sensitive I was, and how I felt so deeply, so passionately, sometimes to my detriment.

In the early 2000s, for some reason, I had this idea to pitch a show on “Intuitive Healing,” for the international news organization I worked for. I’ve been called Lucy, after Lucille Ball, a lot of times in my career for how I just blissfully plow ahead, in a somewhat comical way, oblivious to obstacles I should anticipate. (And perhaps the fiery red hair didn’t hurt the image either.) I have to say this was one of those times where if I had actually paused to think about what I was proposing, I would have laughed at just how absurd the idea would seem to hardened journalists and chickened out. I’m so glad I didn’t.

Back then, “psychic” seemed like a dirty word in most circles. The connotation being that all psychics were grifters trying to take money from lost and desperate souls. Sadly, too many people still hold on to this worn-out stereotype. At the time, I had seen an uptick of psychics, mediums, and healers actually gaining traction in the mainstream lexicon. I theorized to my bosses that there might be myths to be debunked about psychics and energy healers being crooks and phonies. That maybe, just maybe, there was some truth to the healing they employed, and perhaps we could show their work in our program in a fair and transparent way and let our viewers decide whether or not they felt the work had merit.

As I was prepping my pitch for my boss, a colleague of mine who was a hardened war correspondent happened to be coming to the US for a story. For some reason, even though she was a true skeptic, she agreed to front the story for me. Great timing. Serendipitous. A stroke of sheer luck I thought. With her involvement, I believe the scales tipped in our favor, and the powers that be said yes. They funded the project, and sent us on our way to Los Angeles to do the show.

Now I know that God, the universe, the one force, one source, whatever you want to call it, conspired to help me put this show together, and set me off on a course of self-discovery. A path I had no idea at the time would lead me here today.

It was through this endeavor that I had the good fortune to meet one of my first teachers in the intuitive realm, Judith Orloff, M.D. A brilliant author, psychiatrist and healer, Judith Orloff blew me away from the moment I first talked to her. She was kind, she was funny, she was wise, and she welcomed me into her world with light and compassion.

Dr. Orloff, along with medium Lisa Williams and intuitive healer Carolyn Coleridge, were our subjects for Psychic Touch, a half hour program, hosted by Isha Sesay and reported by Arwa Damon. I am so grateful to all of these remarkable women for the time they gave, for the wisdom they shared, and the openness and courage in which they embraced being part of this story.

There are more stories within this story for another day. For now, I am struck by just how much of a guide Dr. Orloff became at that point in my life. Her autobiography, Second Sight, resonated so strongly with me. Here was a woman, the daughter of two doctors, who in her youth feared her own intuitive abilities. She ran from them, until as an adult she could no longer deny their place in her life and medical practice.

In that memoir, Dr. Orloff recounts her “journey to become whole” as she learned that her intuition was a gift, and how as she puts it, “a gift we all possess.” This is a mantra I have shared so many times to others when I give a reading. All because Judith Orloff taught me from the beginning that, “There is no elite to which the gift belongs—the seeds have been planted in all of us…. each one of us is multifaceted, radiant, teeming with possibilities.”

This belief that she instilled is so important to me. Everyone…. everyone has the gift of intuition. It’s just a choice whether we listen to it and let it grow or not. And that choice can be made at any time, at any point in our lives. We are never too old or too late to embrace our intuitive gifts.

When I met Judith Orloff in person, she was as lovely and giving as one could imagine, perhaps even more so than I had envisioned from my phone calls with her prior to our shoot. I knew what empathy was, but I didn’t understand what it meant to be an “empath.” She quickly taught me that I was one, and educated me that there was work to be done to integrate this skill into my being in a healthy way, to make my journey smoother, and my life more fulfilling.

As Mister Rogers says, “Look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping.” Judith Orloff is one of the true helpers for those of us who are sensitive. I look back now almost 20 years after first meeting her and marvel at just how far I have come.

Without a doubt, I have her to thank for teaching me more about who I was, and how to embrace my gifts instead of sleep-walking through life unaware of the power my empathy holds. It would take time, energy, and many more friends, teachers and helpers to get me where I am today. But without Judith Orloff, I may never have had the courage to begin.

Judith has written many wonderful novels and helpful guides, but for anyone who thinks they may be an empath, I would highly recommend picking up her book, The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. In her guide are tips and tricks to make living in this world as a sensitive so much easier and more life affirming .

Any time I hear her name or think about Dr. Orloff, I count my blessings that God/the Universe/The One Power- sought to place her in my path. For those of you reading this, wherever you are on your journey in this life, if you remember to look for the helpers, I promise you as Mister Rogers promised me: you will always find them.

For more on Dr. Judith Orloff M.D., her bestselling work, and her courses click here